Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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