Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Did we literally take a cab across the street
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize