I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
