Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
