Who did Billy Mays play for?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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