Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
