Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
