Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Randomize