Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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