This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
