Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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