At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
A bitchslap is in order.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
