I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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