I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I'm too high and old for this...
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
