I think I am morally bankrupt
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
