As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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