She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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