my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize