thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
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