I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
