I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Randomize
