I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
