So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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