he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
