yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
