I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
