i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
