Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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