I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize