Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
