Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
