How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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