dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
