dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
