If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
