Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
