drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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