Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
