we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
