I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
that's an acceptable place to lick
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Randomize
