This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Randomize
