We won't sleep together?
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
