youre lurking in front of me
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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