I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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