Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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