i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
