They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize