They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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