Say something about gay babies.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize