i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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