wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Randomize
