just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
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