We won't sleep together?
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
You ate ashes out of my bong
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
