i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
don't judge my taste in strippers
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
