Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
