people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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