Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
