But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
