Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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