If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
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