We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
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