ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
