OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
