A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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