and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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